What to do if you think your child is gay
Every parent must understand the importance of responding (not reacting) sensitively to their kids when they come out.
While a lot of parents may sense it before the child tells them, allow your child to feel comfortable about expressing themselves.
All you need to do is provide love, comfort and a supportive feeling to the child. So if you suspect your child is gay, here are some things you should and should not do.
1. Do no ask or jump to conclusion
A child may fit into a proper description but that’s not true for everyone. That’s where stereotyping someone gets problematic. They could be effeminate, strong, powerful, just like any straight kid. So the best thing you can do is to not jump to conclusions about your child’s sexual orientation.
2. Don’t discuss with others
Sexuality and orientation are both very private matters. Even if your child is comfortable with his sexuality, it does not give you the right to discuss it with people he/she hasn’t opened up to. It will be like a breach of trust.
3. Give subtle hints that you’d be okay
Instead of asking your child if he/she is gay, create an environment at home where they feel comfortable in sharing with you. Watch gay-oriented movies together, appreciate the courage of other gays for coming out. Be sensitive to how you talk about homosexuality.
4. Watch your tone
Children, when they are trying to hide something or are having an inner conflict, they get very sensitive to how things are spoken. So if you happen to hit upon the subject of homosexuality, don’t make it sound like a big deal. Your child may refuse to engage in the discussion and that would be your cue to back off.
5. They should know sexuality is just one part of their personality
Your child should know his sexuality does not define him. It is just another part of who he/she is. He/she is a son/daughter, a student, a friend, a neighbour etc. Encourage them to celebrate and rejoice in all parts of their personality.
6. When they come out
Even when your child comes out to you, do not treat them differently. That will be the biggest mistake you will make. This is one of the biggest battles that homesexual kids have to face. Nothing they say should change the relationship they share with you.